I finally feel human after all the annoyance and crazy hustle bustle of the season is over. Life’s resumed pace and reality hits hard. The gleaming lights fade away and make way for clarity and reality. Just how life should be. For me while I love the festivity of Christmas to a different level, I somewhere resist the dullness of New Year’s Eve. For me personally New Year’s celebration doesn’t excite me much. It’s always time to let go, release, heal and surrender. While it’s all a graceful process and healthy of course on mental and emotional level, it’s also over whelming as the old releases, there is a sense of void/ vacuum created. Every year I bring in New Year’s sitting at home with my hubby and close friends sipping on wine, and as soon as the clock strikes 12, after exchanging hugs and kisses, I withdraw into my space to do some grounding and healing. It’s become a routine and by now my friends are so use to me slipping into my pensive mode. This year as I woke up on 1st January, I realised that a lot of old has left me… and for the first time in my life I realised that I out of everyone had no vision for myself in 2017. I was just blank. Every time I sat to pray and manifest or write my diary I had no words to fill in. I didn’t know what I want from life, what I want to achieve, where I want to go and what I want to hold onto. 2 days have passed by and I still feel like a zombie. I feel at peace, but yet my mind is pushing me to achieve “something” only because it’s the beginning of the year. There is a wear and tear happening between my mind and soul. My soul just wants to sleep, my mind wants me to fly, my soul wants to surrender, and my mind wants to create a list of intentions. My soul wants to just be in my zone, my mind wants to get down to exchanging energies with my karmic relationships, my soul wants to Be and my mind wants to See vision. I don’t know whether this is good bad or right wrong, but I know for the matter of fact that this is real. I also know that this is something many of you out there must be feeling. If I could use one word to describe this state— it would be “comfortably numb and emotionless”. It’s a state between peace and action, where there are no feelings. As I sit here and write this piece, I wonder if I even make sense and wonder why am I starting my blog in the new year with this post, but to be honest, I just want put it out to the universe and all you reading this is that, there is going to come a point in life where the beginning of something new is filled with un-certainty and numbness. We at any given point in life are always at a junction where there is a new beginning, new relationships, new work, new project, etc. And while we are filled with excitement, there is also a sense of numbness. While you may have clarity of the newness, you don’t have clarity of what to expect. You may have a vision of you being a part of it, but you may not have a vision of the goal or end result. You may have a sense of self power, but you may also have a sense of questioning as to what it is going to be like. You may feel the Goosebumps with excitement on your skin, but you may also feel weighed down on your shoulder, because deep inside you know what the new brings in a sense of resistibility that you haven’t dealt with before. While our past has taught us a lot, the new will bring to you lessons you haven’t even fathomed before. The old will make you perfect in a lot of ways, but the new will also peel layers of your existence you never knew existed. The old will push you towards closing chapters and letting go of everything that is not needed. The new will rupture your old frequency and elevate you to a frequency to attract the unexpected. While it may all sound so exciting and fancy, let me tell you that the rupturing of the frequency isn’t all that fun. Yes without the doubt the end result is worth the pain, but when you are going through the shedding and rupturing of the vibrations, it aches. It creates a pain within your soul. It’s like a clot on your gut waiting to burst and our soul struggling to emerge out. You may feel dark, alone, fearful and blocked. You may feel the world doesn’t know you and understand you, and you don’t want to deal with all of the crap, and it’s only natural for you to feel this way. But what is important is how you deal with this phase. While many of you must be feeling exactly this at this time of the year where it’s all about new beginnings, it’s also important that you lay a strong foundation so that you don’t scatter yourself and tear yourself apart before the journey has even started.
To begin with, tell yourself-
It’s Okay to feel like this. There is nothing strange, weird, and upsetting about this. You are not unhappy neither are you depressed so stop questioning it.
Be with people you enjoy. Don’t push yourself to be a people pleaser. Don’t seek approval and don’t expect people to understand you. They never will and in return you will be nothing but even more hurt.
Bring about changes in your eating and sleep patterns. Your body just like your soul energy is going through a transition. Be in tune with your needs and don’t over indulge in anything else it will make your body more dense. Don’t eat or drink just because you are tempted. Do it only if your body needs it. Deal with your body on the basis of what it needs, not what your emotions need.
Don’t push yourself to achieve targets just because everyone around you is doing it. It is ok to do nothing and work at your own pace. People may call you lazy, complacent, etc, but that’s not your problem. Don’t give into their judgement.
Last and not the least, don’t take any drastic actions, till the time you feel settled. Just because you feel something doesn’t mean it needs to be implemented RIGHT NOW. Give it time, come into full alignment with your thought and emotion and then let the universe take action. Your job is to experience, allow the universe to bring to you its verdict thereafter.
Hope this makes sense and helps you embrace the new beginnings that you are going through.
To be honest, as I write this post, it’s been liberating to get back to blogging, and just realised how much I missed it and hoping to get back to doing it more regularly.
Until my next, sending you all loads of love and light,